By Rebel with too many causes to count
I always considered myself as an overenthusiastic super duper rebellious extrovert. Others simply consider me a real pain in the ass. You see extroverts aren’t exactly well received. I mean when more than 99% of the world likes to keep to themselves, I simply love to blow my trumpets real loud. My nature isn’t always well received. Hearing things like “Why are you so abnormal?” “Can’t you be like other people?” Is quite commonplace with me. While all of my introvert friends hear “You should mix with other people” “Why don’t you make some friends” and blah blah blah…..My parents have to keep me on a tight leash because I have too many friends, too many phone calls and too many people know me for both the wrong and right reasons.
You see when I go into a party 10 minutes into it and because of my jokes, mimicry and really really loud laugh I have everyone’s attention. My brother would say “Tere Ko Saab dekh rahe hai. Do you want to get thrown out of the party?” I say “Tera kya ja raha hai, you’re just jealous ‘cause everybody loves me.” In a party where everyone makes merry I’m like a cherry on a pastry. If it’s even slightly sophisticated, I’m told to leave the party in the next ten minutes. And my parent’s feel embarrassed and say things like like “isko kaun samjhay” “hum kya kare” “beta tere ko kaha tha dekh kar apne asli rang dikhana chahiye.” The former happens for 95% of the time. The latter surprisingly count only for 5%. Surprising isn’t it. See in a party everyone wants to have fun, nobody wants to be alone. Some would disagree with me. I have one answer for you. Tumhi Jaa Khadiath!!!!!
When I was a kid my parents were told that I am a hyperactive child.They said Maine Aisa Kyu Hu, I said maine jaisa hu bahut khush hu. I have always been one of the best students, actors, writers and speakers in my school and college. I simply love what I do whatever it is and am extremely passionate and driven about it. That is my philosophy of life.
There was this really hot chick in college and I was all over her Oh! Gosh! was she sexy. I had the hots for her. We used to be friendly and would talk on the phone. She was my classmate. We went out for coffee a couple of times. She used to loot my pocket money dry on her pastries and frappe. I think she had the hint that I liked her and she was just waiting for me to approach her. Like any hot blooded college alpha male I decided to tell her how I feel. Being the overconfident chick magnet that I was, I decided to write poetry on her and how I feel about her.
There came D-day, and I told myself that today’s the day, my man. I was going to college from Matunga station, thinking of an opportunity to talk to her. And Voila, there she was walking just in front of me all dressed up in red kurti, blue denims and high heels. Walking towards her and later with her, I told her, “Whatever I tell you for the next few minutes listen to me without judging me.”
Seeming surprised but she nodded; it seemed knew that what was coming. So I began,
“In front of the poet lies his muse,
Looking at your beauty I go confused,
I hope that after hearing this you don’t have a short fuse,
And worse u you don’t get amused.
Looking at you my wallet cries,
I’ve been paying heavily for your coffee and your French fries,
Just to look deeply into your eyes,
And to earn the envy of the other guys.
Talking to you gives me a heavy mobile bill,
Showing these to dad gives me the chill,
But thoughts of you make me ill,
For they come to me run of the mill.
I am going crazy for want of your affection,
I hope you have for me the same kind of attraction,
Please don’t give me an extreme reaction,
I am willing to tolerate all this and more just to have your love even if it’s worth a fraction.”
I don’t know how to describe her reaction. It was shock, awe and surprise. Then she smiled and then frowned. Trying to conceal her happiness, she said, “Oh you boys will never change. Hmm. We can’t just remain friends or what.”
I said, “I don’t pay for my friend’s coffee. You already knew I was attracted to you.”
“Every man is a wolf and every gentleman is a silent one.” she responded.
“And every women is a man-eater and serial money waster.” I countered.
“You have a point but I need some time to think.”
“Sure, if your answer is no, I am willing to break all ties with you if you want.”
After this we walked to college together. I was sure I got my girl.
Later in the day, I had to go for an orientation for my debate competition which I was representing my college. I met a friend of mine from another college.
“So how is it going on with that girl?”
“Fine really I told her how I felt”
“Oh! You can’t be serious, you have quite a female following and many much more hotter babes would have died to be in her place. Anyway what did she say?”
“She told me to wait.”
“Oh these girls, they will make us die waiting. But remember uski na mai bhi uski ha hai.”
“Aisa kuch nahi hota.”
Then the orientation programme started, the fellow came up loudly speaking about the need importance of knowledgeable young men in politics. And the changes required in society. He said youth need to be in politics and clean up the system.
My friend whispered, “The only thing that the youth need are girls.”
I tried very hard to control my laughter and both of us started ranking, talking and seeing all the good looking girls around us.
After the orientation feeling a little inspired, I filled their orientation form and joined them as a volunteer. A week later, I was told to speak to a few student’s from a hotshot college about our organization and its goals. They started cross-examining me about what I was saying by asking me questions on everything. I was started to getting fed up. The biggest and most intellectual mouth amongst them asked me, “What is your party’s ideology?” Being extremely skilled in argument and wanting to give it back to them. I replied, “Can you wash your ass with ideology, you need water or tissues for that. Ideologies do not build roads. They do not fill stomachs. Ideologies interest only intellectuals not real people. That is why elections are won in this country only with money, muscle power, chicken biryani or liquor. Listen you bookworm try living amongst real people a little more, you will know the real problems. For people are better friends than books. They are far more knowledgeable. They tell you what is relevant and what’s not. You can go now.”
Seemingly impressed and a little scared they went. I waited for the next batch to come in. After the day was over, while going home I met a friend of mine and we started talking. “You know in a few years everything will change, we will student elections and there will be a democratization of college campuses in Bombay again.”
“I don’t think that is exactly a good thing.”
“It isn’t but I guess we have no say in this. The committees have already passed the rules. These selfish politicians are tweaking everything in the system to get their work done.”
“See in Bombay raging is at an all time low, with this shit coming up campus rapes, murders and fights will become commonplace.”
“I know but you know something has to be done with the amount of power these teacher’s wield in our careers is sickening. They give less marks to rebellious students. We have no right to get our paper’s rechecked. I simply got extremely less marks in Hindi and Mathematics despite knowing every answer in the paper. Our education system is extremely corrupted and evil.”
“Agreed but it is for the best.”
“Sure freedom from choosing our own destiny.”
“Everything happens as God wills it.”
“Yes I just hope these never ending problems are solved. Otherwise the worse will come and may God save us. Soon there will be a time as Dumbeldore said when we will have to decide between what is right and what is easy.”
On the way I met my love, standing there. “I think I should go now.” said my friend and he left.
It was night and she held my hand and took me to corner. Her touch made me shiver. She looked deeply into my eyes and closed hers. She moved her face towards mine and made her lips pout. I was starting to get very nervous. What is she doing? As she made a move to kiss me, AHHHH!!!!!!! I screamed and ran off and never looked back. She was shocked.